Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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