eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
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Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
i believe in u and ur pee
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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