just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize