i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize