people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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