I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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