he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize