WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
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