my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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