Swine flu. Run for my life!
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize