I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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