i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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