Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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