Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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