Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize