We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
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I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
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How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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