If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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