ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize