Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
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Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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