do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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