I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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