I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
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That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
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Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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