We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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