everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize