He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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