We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
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If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
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I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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