based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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