So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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