butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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