she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize