capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize