Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize