this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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