Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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