first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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