I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
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I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
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He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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