Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
third nipple confirmed
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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