Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize