She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
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You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
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I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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