I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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