escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize