Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
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this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
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Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
he just fucked me for my cheese.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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