I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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