Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize