You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize