So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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