whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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