TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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