it wasn't lemon gatorade
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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