I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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